Russell: Man. Myth. Legend.

Okay, folks. This post will certainly not come close to adequately portraying the awesomeness that was Russell's chronological summary of his BBQ-filled Easter weekend. His review, with pictures, will be posted in the days ahead, but I captured his recounting last nite and must share. This firmly cements Russell's place among Texas legends, past and present, including Sam Houston, Davey Crockett, Emmitt Smith, David Robinson, Lyle Lovett, and Kinky Friedman. Again, words can't really capture it. Even so, here's what you should be wrapping your heads around: A dry-erase board and a Marriott Hotels & Resort pen. Descriptive hand motions. Multiple football references, including a couple of well-placed "Back on backers!" The turning around (twice) of a baseball cap, a la Sly Stallone in Over the Top. And, last but not least, profuse sweating.

Pre-elevated blood pressure, Russell sets the stage for us: Kreuz and Smitty's in Lockhart, Snow's in Lexington, and leftovers for the remainder of the weekend.

Here, Russell illustrates how, like the finessing of a fine pool shot, he delicately dominated three of the Central Texas' most renowned BBQ joints.

Here, Russell tells that it didn't just take charisma but brawn, as well, explaining to us that he was able to pull this off because he's so manly.

Near the end, Russell discusses the superiority of Texas's brand of BBQ...and the possibility of Texas' seceding from the Union.

All at the same time, Russell had us in a trance, completely captivated, and utterly perplexed.