You can't rush greatness.

Bo has now submitted his scores for our first trip to Old Coupland Inn & Dancehall, way back when. I’ve updated the original review, but Bo’s comments deserve their own post. Enjoy…

Oh, Coupland Dance hall, where art thou? Surely it wasn’t what I saw that chilly February evening. What happened to the “eatinest, drinkinest, dancinest place in Texas!” - that promises “the kind of entertainment, food and hospitality that cannot be found anyplace else?” Maybe there is a disclaimer I missed that this statement and promise only applies if you arrive not on a Saturday night, with a bunch of friends, who had a reservation. See, Restatement (2nd) of Torts §90.

Coupland Dance Hall defines façade. The décor and atmosphere of the Old Coupland Dance Hall was Texas enough (a good thing) to make anyone from north of the Mason-Dixon Line feel as uncomfortable as a prize does in a crackerjack box but the service was just plain Yankee.

First, as Drew points out, our group had a reservation, but that didn’t seem to matter. Even though there were plenty of empty tables large enough to accommodate our Man-Up troop we had to wait at least 30 minutes. I know what you are thinking; surely the waitress came to our table immediately upon us being sat and offered her condolences for the long wait. Well, not really, actually it took another 30 minutes or so for the waitress to even acknowledge our presence. And don’t get me started on the koozy invention happening at the table because of the warm beverages. (See, e.g., Kaitlin’s pic).

After enough time for Cory Morrow to record his new album - Vagrants and Kings - our food finally arrived. I ordered the “all-you-can-eat” option which should have been called, “all-we-really-have-time-for-even-though-its-not-that-busy-is-one-plate.”
Brisket: The brisket was not that bad. Easily the best protein of the night. The right amount of fat flavored the meat nicely.

Chicken: It might have been falling off the bone but that’s because it was completely dried out. Wasn’t a fan at all.

Sausage: The sausage had potential. Like, it potentially could have been good 8 hours before it was served when it was actually cooked. Even though it tasted dried out from sitting too long a last little bit of flavor was hanging in there.

Sauce: Wouldn’t know – they ran out.

Sides: The only sides I remember was the cowboy baked beans served in the petite kettle. By far the best food of the night. I liked the touch of brown sugar. Whoever makes the beans should immediately be appointed to Executive Chef.

Coupland Dance Hall – you are on notice. Because you glisten the pages of Texas Monthly next to such venues as Luckenbach and Gruene Hall we should give one more chance to redeem yourself. However, it won’t be easy.

Bo’s scores – Brisket: 8.5; Chicken: 5; Sausage: 8; Sides: 9.5; Overall experience: 5